Dear Lisa Arias,
Hello. My name is XX XXX. I'm a gay
man in my late 20's and live in the XXX XXX area of XXX.
I really want to thank you for your
website. I would like to think it was a blessing that I found it. I think
that gays, like myself, need to be reminded that God and Jesus do love us.
To make a long story short, I was
raised Catholic. I was attending St. XXX in XXX, XX. Even though, I wasn't a
daily church attendant, I would try to make it to Mass every so often. No
matter what I was taught from other denominations about my homosexuality, I
had always found peace within myself at Mass. No matter what evangelists were
preaching elsewhere, I had always known that I would be able to find comfort
during Mass. When I think it about it, if I was ever even close to having a
relationship with God and Jesus, it was during special moments at Mass in
prayer.
That all changed almost two years ago
when the whole gay marriage thing came about. I personally believed it was
okay to have Civil Unions. That was my own personal belief but I never spoke
of it in Church because I felt that was no place for it to be discussed. I
respected everyone's opinions. I had always felt spiritually safe and accepted
in the church and never in my whole life that I can recall being Catholic that
any gay issues were ever brought up. I felt safe. I went to Mass and during
certain moments, I felt in my heart that God and Jesus loved me. For so many
years, no matter what was going on in the outside world, those few personal
silent moments in prayer were so precious. I loved Church when I went. I loved
Jesus.
Then, one day when I went to
Mass, everything changed. The priest spoke out against homosexuals and
marriage. If I recall, it was a bit more about marriage, however, the ways he
said things about homosexuals was not good. He made me feel like I was an evil
person. I felt so disgusting. I felt hated. I wanted Mass to end so quickly
so I could get out as quickly as possible. Perhaps if he would reminded that
God and Jesus still loved us, things might had turned out differently. But
nothing of the sort was sad.
I lost something that day. It only
worsened when the Cardinal of XXX or whatever made a special appearance on
television preaching in a tone like gays were evil and he urged everyone to
pass a ban on same sex marriage even though we already had it written in the
State constitution that marriage was only between a man and woman. It was so
ridiculous.
I never stepped back into Church since
then. I lost my faith in practically everything. I lost Jesus, I lost myself,
I lost who I was. I just didn't care anymore. I turned so bitter and my heart
began to fill with hate. Life went on. I began to drink more alcohol. I became
somewhat racist. I became so consumed with myself. I became somewhat sorry for
myself. It's a wonder that my partner put up with it for so long and I'm glad
we are still together. I hated the Catholic Church. I started to scorn most
anything Christian. I felt so betrayed. I had changed into a completely
different person.
Then, out of the blue one day, this
morning as a matter of fact, I just typed, "God loves gays" in the yahoo
search engine. Heh, I probably should have typed, "Does God love gays?" but I
didn't because I wanted so much to believe that he does.
Ms. Arias, it was the best thing I had
ever did. I ended up finding your website and read it through. For the first
time in the longest while, I feel I may have just found Jesus again and I
have you to thank for it. I hope that others will find your website. I can't
make any promises because I have a lot of healing to do. It's been so long.
However, I have faith again and feel I have found the part of me
that was stripped away. Even if it just lasts for five minutes, I know now
that Jesus dose love me and it feels so awesome. I haven't had that feeling
since 2004.
If you want, you may share my story with
others but I do wish to remain anonymous. Thank you for spreading the word,
thank you for helping me get on the right path again.
Sincerely,